There's no shortage of bad celebrity themed pinball machines. This time we wont rank them, well look at several different genres of bad celebrity tie ins:
THE BOX OFFICE BOMB THEMED MACHINE:
In 1991 Williams Pinball released a machine based on Terminator 2 complete with a gun trigger to launch the ball and a ton of Arnold's catch phrases like Ill be back keyed to various game objectives. The film was a huge hit, and everything worked well together. Because of the success of this machine the production companies thought that releasing a pinball machine simultaneous with the film would be a great cross promotional tactic.
Unfortunately, this thinking led to a number of pinball machines based on films that were absolute bombs. Some examples of this genre are machines based on The Last Action Hero and Hook. There wasnt a cooler cartoon than The Flintstones. So how do you screw up a Flintstones pinball machine? Just base the theme not on the classic Hanna Barbara cartoon, but on the horrible film starring John Goodman and Rosie ODonnell.
The all time low water mark (no pun intended) has to be "Waterworld". Waterworld was released in 1995 starring Kevin Costner and quickly became the definitive big budget, no box office film replacing Michael Ciminos Heavens Gate and the Dustin Hoffman/Warren Beatty comedy Ishtar.
Playing a bomb themed pinball machine is downright surreal. The most pitiful thing is when the machine booms out a catch phrase from the film that no one is familiar with.
THE DUBIOUSLY TIMED THEME:
This genre includes themes that would have been pretty cool, except for the fact they were released well after the subjects popularity had begun to ebb. Gilligans Island would have been great back in the mid-1960s or even in the late 70s when a new generation discovered the show in syndication. In 1991 it was just creepy since nearly half of the cast members depicted on the backglass were dead. The Six Million Dollar Man was released in the fall of 1978, just in time for the shows cancellation.
Undoubtedly the strangest machine of this genre is 1994s Mario Andretti. The backglass didn't display a picture of a young Andretti at the height of his racing career, but rather an image of grizzled old Mario Andretti. The smart move would have been to use his name, throw a bunch of race cars on the backglass and playfield and call it a day. Instead having the sixty-something race car driver on the backglass is vaguely akin to having your grandfather looking over your shoulder while you play.
ROOT,ROOT, ROOT FOR THE HOME TEAM:
A comment on the original celebrity theme article mentioned this genre and it is a good one. Its important to understand that the pinball industry has been based in Chicago for most of its history. Presumably for that reason there have been some machines featuring the local sports teams and stars. The Big Hurt Frank Thomas was a solid major league ballplayer, but not really worthy of a pinball machine themed around him. The most egregious example of this was 1978s Bobby Orrs Power Play, released not long after the trade that sent Orr from Boston to Chicago. Nationally, no one outside of Boston and Chicago cared.
THE BAD CONVERSION FOR THE INTERNATIONAL MARKET:
For reasons that Ive never been quite clear on it was common practice to rebrand a perfectly good game for the International market. Sometimes it was released by the US company, other times it was licensed to a foreign operation. Youd think that there would be some creative control over the rebranded themes but that wasn't the case.
While I have a good grasp on the US pinball demographic I have no idea who plays pinball internationally. Based on some of the re-themed machines its probably better I dont know. Mata Hari was a classic machine of the early 1980s. The German release was rethemed as the more foreboding Lady Death. This one at least makes sense as they had some Nazi imagery that Germans are understandably sensitive about (despite being historically inaccurate, since the real Mata Hari was executed during WW I). Less understandable is the retheming of a military themed game called Special Force in the US to the downright bizarre Special Forces Girls, featuring comely women in low cut, cleavage baring fatigues.
THE BOX OFFICE BOMB THEMED MACHINE:
In 1991 Williams Pinball released a machine based on Terminator 2 complete with a gun trigger to launch the ball and a ton of Arnold's catch phrases like Ill be back keyed to various game objectives. The film was a huge hit, and everything worked well together. Because of the success of this machine the production companies thought that releasing a pinball machine simultaneous with the film would be a great cross promotional tactic.
Unfortunately, this thinking led to a number of pinball machines based on films that were absolute bombs. Some examples of this genre are machines based on The Last Action Hero and Hook. There wasnt a cooler cartoon than The Flintstones. So how do you screw up a Flintstones pinball machine? Just base the theme not on the classic Hanna Barbara cartoon, but on the horrible film starring John Goodman and Rosie ODonnell.
The all time low water mark (no pun intended) has to be "Waterworld". Waterworld was released in 1995 starring Kevin Costner and quickly became the definitive big budget, no box office film replacing Michael Ciminos Heavens Gate and the Dustin Hoffman/Warren Beatty comedy Ishtar.
Playing a bomb themed pinball machine is downright surreal. The most pitiful thing is when the machine booms out a catch phrase from the film that no one is familiar with.
THE DUBIOUSLY TIMED THEME:
This genre includes themes that would have been pretty cool, except for the fact they were released well after the subjects popularity had begun to ebb. Gilligans Island would have been great back in the mid-1960s or even in the late 70s when a new generation discovered the show in syndication. In 1991 it was just creepy since nearly half of the cast members depicted on the backglass were dead. The Six Million Dollar Man was released in the fall of 1978, just in time for the shows cancellation.
Undoubtedly the strangest machine of this genre is 1994s Mario Andretti. The backglass didn't display a picture of a young Andretti at the height of his racing career, but rather an image of grizzled old Mario Andretti. The smart move would have been to use his name, throw a bunch of race cars on the backglass and playfield and call it a day. Instead having the sixty-something race car driver on the backglass is vaguely akin to having your grandfather looking over your shoulder while you play.
ROOT,ROOT, ROOT FOR THE HOME TEAM:
A comment on the original celebrity theme article mentioned this genre and it is a good one. Its important to understand that the pinball industry has been based in Chicago for most of its history. Presumably for that reason there have been some machines featuring the local sports teams and stars. The Big Hurt Frank Thomas was a solid major league ballplayer, but not really worthy of a pinball machine themed around him. The most egregious example of this was 1978s Bobby Orrs Power Play, released not long after the trade that sent Orr from Boston to Chicago. Nationally, no one outside of Boston and Chicago cared.
THE BAD CONVERSION FOR THE INTERNATIONAL MARKET:
For reasons that Ive never been quite clear on it was common practice to rebrand a perfectly good game for the International market. Sometimes it was released by the US company, other times it was licensed to a foreign operation. Youd think that there would be some creative control over the rebranded themes but that wasn't the case.
While I have a good grasp on the US pinball demographic I have no idea who plays pinball internationally. Based on some of the re-themed machines its probably better I dont know. Mata Hari was a classic machine of the early 1980s. The German release was rethemed as the more foreboding Lady Death. This one at least makes sense as they had some Nazi imagery that Germans are understandably sensitive about (despite being historically inaccurate, since the real Mata Hari was executed during WW I). Less understandable is the retheming of a military themed game called Special Force in the US to the downright bizarre Special Forces Girls, featuring comely women in low cut, cleavage baring fatigues.
About the Author:
Ross Everett is a freelance writer and noted authority on bookmaking software. His writing has appeared on a variety of sports sites including sportsbooks and price per head sites. He lives in Las Vegas, Nevada with three Jack Russell Terriers and a kangaroo. He is currently working on an autobiography of former energy secretary Donald Hodell.
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